Singles

Where Not To Go On A First Date

While we would like to think that a first date is all about who you are with and the things that you talk about, the way a date turns out can largely be determined by where you are and what you are doing there.  Here is a list of different places that you should avoid on your dates in order to stay away from potentially awkward situations that could ruin an otherwise very fun and rewarding date.

The first place to avoid is any family function that might be going on.  While there is a time and a place to introduce your significant other to your family, it is NEVER on the first date.  Your date is going to be trying hard enough just to impress you, so don’t put them through the torture of trying to impress your entire family.  Not only that, they are going to have to put up with all kinds of jokes and teasing by family members that don’t know when to stop.  This is the fastest way to alienate your date and make for awkward situations.

The second place to avoid would be a club.  You go to clubs to find a date, but you shouldn’t date them there.  Remember that clubs are meat markets where everyone is on the prowl.  Everyone is looking to hook up, so either you will find yourself having to constantly fend off other guys or you may just lose your date to another guy who seemed to be a bit more charming and exciting than you were.  If you are looking to start any kind of relationship with this girl then take her somewhere where you will have some time to be alone and intimate and be able to carry on a conversation.

The third thing to avoid is the movies.  While this may seem like a pretty good option for a first date, it’s never creative and doesn’t help to further your relationship with that person.  When you are in a movie you don’t have any opportunity to talk and get to know each other.  It’s about the same as you dropping your date off early.  Try doing something where you can talk and get to know each other better.  Your date will be thankful you did and will appreciate any spontaneity and creativity that you put into it.  With all of the bad dates that they have gone through, a well planned first date will be a welcomed occasion.

Bonuses Of Dating

Dating is such a funny thing.  We all are looking for love but many that find it complain that they wish they were single again.  It seems like people are never happy with what they’ve got, especially the men.  Although men would like to portray a sense of being easy to please, they are actually the more high maintenance of the bunch.  They never quite seem to realize what they have when they’ve got it.  Many guys will have the perfect girlfriend but still think they want something more.  Well for all those guys out there who just don’t realize what they have, here are some reasons why their girlfriends are so beneficial.

First of all, women are sympathetic. This is something many men take for granted.  While many men just want to give advice and solve problems, women actually acknowledge that there is a problem and give you some comfort.  They don’t blame you for what happened, but are legitimately concerned about you and the situation you are in.  You may not always recognize it, but women are the reason you don’t hate your life every night because of all of your problems.

Another huge benefit of a good girlfriend is that they are natural ego boosters.  While men may complain that girls are always fishing for compliments, the fact of the matter is that they are nice to hear.  Women don’t ever hold back when telling you that you look good in your shoes, that you are really good at the guitar (even though you are horrible) and compliment you on your budding biceps.

The next reason why it is good to have a woman around is because they are social butterflies.  They will keep you active and actually get you out of the house. Men are natural hermits and enjoy sitting around, eating, and watching tv.  Girls will actually get you to go to planned activities and help you to have a good time where otherwise you would waste away on the couch and practice growing out your beard.

The last reason that women are so great is that they are willing to listen to you.  No matter how stupid your story is, they are natural listeners and will make you feel like you are the greatest story teller around.  They will also inspire and uplift you.  If you have dreams or ideas they are usually quick to encourage you to do something about them rather than shoot them down.  They can be your greatest support if you let them.

Learning How To Communicate In A Relationship

No matter if you are 16 or 60, learning how to communicate when you are dating is a big deal. Most relationships fail because there is not an adequate amount of communicating going on.  One person is usually in love with the other person and they just blindly believe that the other person feels the same way.  The relationship will go where the person in love keeps getting hurt over and over again because they have no idea what is going on.  Eventually the relationship ends horribly with one person being pretty beat up over it.  If there had been honest and open communication from the beginning then all of this heartache and pain could have been spared or at least lessened.

The first step in good communication is to know when to share feelings.  While some girls will want to know the status of the relationship from day 1, this isn’t necessary.  However, at day 60 there should be some idea of what is going on in the relationship and if there isn’t then there needs to be some kind of DTR or (define the relationship).  This little talk doesn’t have to be anything huge, but there needs to be an understanding of what page each person is on.  At about 2 months, both people have a decent idea of whether or not they want the relationship to keep going.  If it isn’t feeling right then have the decency to talk to the other person and tell them how you feel.  It is still early enough in the game that the other person will recover without being too distraught over it.

If things are feeling right then there is no need to make any future promises but there needs to be an understanding that things are going well, and you would both like to see where it could go.  You might also want to talk about some things that you both could change in the relationship.  Rather than just pointing out the faults of the other person, you should point out your own faults and ask what you can do to change them.  After that the other person will feel more comfortable talking about what they can change as well because they won’t feel like they are being attacked.

Having a few of these “communicating sessions” will allow you to make sure that you both are honest with each other and that you both know what the other expects from the relationship.